His Laugh, His Smile, His Jumping Around

Movies and tv shows have given us a false sense of the finality of death. 

I would imagine that before “the entertainment age”, it was more easy to understand and accept that when a person was gone, they were not going to miraculously walk through the door.

But because of how emotionally attached we get to characters now, we mourn when they die, but they are brought back in memories or as a spirit still living within the story and experiencing life still with the family...or so many times, they were wrongfully thought to be dead and are actually still alive. So that mourning turns to rejoicing and the pain does not last long.

I obviously know those are fictional stories but my mind has been made to believe that the actual reality of death is only for a short time and Jonathan will miraculously run into my room and whisper in my ear ever so quietly in order to not wake his dad.

Watching videos of him, especially in the last few months of his life, make me question how he is not just on a trip to Ohio or Indiana or just at school waiting for me to pick him up. I find myself smiling about him, his smile, his laugh, his jumping around and everything else but at some point I always think to myself, “How is he not here anymore? How is he just gone? How is he so alive in this video, but now he’s dead?”

Sometimes it’s hard for me to say that word, it makes it all too real. 💔