Fight to Flourish

I recently read the book - The Fight to Flourish by Jennie Lusko. She and Levi lost their 5 yr old daughter Lenya, to a severe asthma attack. I was familiar with their story and after Jonathan passed away a dear friend gave me Levi’s book to read, Through the Eyes of a Lion. I actually read it 2x, it gave me hope to hear my thoughts and feelings through someone else’s words, I felt less alone and it helped to solidify my faith that God will uphold me through this season.

So seeing Jennie release a book about this season of their life, I wanted to read it to see her perspective and experience as a fellow mother and mourn with her from a distance. I went into reading it to find comfort and camaraderie, which I did find, but I also found conviction. 

The chapters about Lenya, her passing, the weeks following, how each reacted and dealt with a part of them now missing forever, broke my heart for them, as we had experienced all these things as well. To my surprise, maybe because I wasn’t thinking that this book was anything more than a story of flourishing after loss, the chapter that most spoke to me was, You Can’t Hug a Porcupine.

You Can’t Hug a Porcupine

As I listened to Jennie describe herself, how she often reacts to or treats those around her, I saw a lot of myself reflected in her words. If you know me, it’s not news to you but I often give off a porcupine affect, keeping people at arms length, not being open and vulnerable. Apparently God is calling for vulnerable to be my middle name right now though.

This porcupine affect sometimes stems from feeling like I won’t be validated by those I’m open with, feeling like I don’t have anything to give and if I don’t try to connect then there is no chance of failing.

However, I have found and am finding that in the last 2 years, admittedly the hardest 2 years of my life, as I have reached out to people in honesty and vulnerability, God has been able to do the most work in me and through me.

In this season of being an open book with God and others, this scripture has become real to me and God gets all the glory as I share my testimony of struggles, shortcomings, triumph, persevering and even flourishing. ❤️

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10