Beauty For Ashes

This year has brought to the forefront so many different things in our lives and I truly believe that God can use all of it to prune, refine and make us stronger.

It is amazing to me how God can weave so many different stories together, even when we are unaware at first. I know I have said it before but it is when we hear each other’s stories, we grow in empathy, compassion and even in our own faith and strength in God.

Jenny is a part of my small group at church and when I heard her story a few weeks ago it broke my heart, gave me a new respect for her faith and I was encouraged to see how God has been faithful to still be carrying her through each day, the good and the bad.

This is just a small part of her story, I know that God will use it to touch you in a unique way as well.❤️

Faith

Faith was 38 weeks when I found out that her little heart had stopped beating. In that moment, my life changed forever. Numb and broken. I had to face the unthinkable new reality- life without my Faith. There is nothing anyone can say or do to take away the pain you are experiencing. I know the pain deeply of losing my daughter Faith. This pain is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. The emotions that come are so painful and difficult to face. I had never felt such pain, anger, sadness, depression, apathy, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, and numbness. I never knew emotions could have such depths. Child loss is a loss like no other. One often misunderstood by many. If you love a bereaved parent or know someone who does, remember that even his or her “good” days are harder than you could ever imagine.

How do I find joy again? I find joy, when I wait patiently, even when I cannot feel the breath of the Spirit, the touch of my Jesus, and the approval of my Father, because I cling to his promises. I cling to the words of Jesus, “Do not be afraid.” Just as light broke into darkness at the beginning of time with words spoken, so the Light broke into the Darkness that one still night decades ago. And again, the Light, who is Jesus, will once again break through the darkness once and for all, and we will be restored to him. Our joy will never fully be complete in this here but not yet.

However, in our present longing, we cling to the hope that it will be complete one day. On that day He will bestow on us a “crown of beauty, instead of ashes and the oil of joy instead of mourning.”

Jenny Lahens